Batten Down The Hatches (Or Whatever), 'Cause Here Comes Cap'n Scuzzbeard!

The other day at lunch, four of us were sitting around and my coworker Robby commented that Gilette could make a killing off of us.

I suppose I have let myself go just a bit. And I noticed a couple of grey hairs in the midst of all that scraggle on my face. With my bald head, isn't that basically just adding insult to indignity?

Throw me a bone here, God.