The checkup was going fine until the doctor asked the inevitable question from the form. That one question. The one I knew he would eventually get to. I hadn�t made up my mind if I�d lie or not.
He asked the question.
�Do you smoke?�
I hesitated for a moment, and my hesitation caused a slight frown of doubt to form on his forehead.
�Well,� I answered, �Not anymore. But I did in the past.�
I�d told the truth after all.
In a slightly lowered voice with a hint of concern, he asked me how much I had smoked.
�Not that much.�
Like how much? How many per day?
�Oh, I guess a couple.�
Oh my, a couple of packs?
�No no, a couple of cigarettes per day at the most, on average. But there were some days when I didn�t smoke. Weeks even, in fact.�
The frown disappeared, and with a dismissing chuckle he said, �But that hardly even counts. Can you even call yourself a smoker?�
That checkup was about a year ago. I�ve not had a single cigarette for over two whole years now. But you know the interesting thing? The science appears to have been right: those little things
are addictive!
In the subsequent two years since I quit, I�m pretty sure that not a single day has passed where I�ve not passed a hoodlum on the street corner and thought, �Hmm, that smoke actually smells pretty nice.� Or this: �I don�t suppose it would do much harm to have an occasional smoke�except then I�d disappoint Angela.� In fact, it was meeting my future wife that motivated me to stop for good. Like I said, I was never a heavy smoker by anyone�s measure, and I think that very fact made it harder to realize that�shocker!�those flavorful little tobacco sticks probably weren�t that good for me after all.
How did I get into smoking, and how was I able to keep it casual? Contrary to what D.A.R.E. may say, simply taking a single drag from a cigarette won�t turn you into a two-pack-a-day smoker within mere days. Here�s an analogy for you: politicians cannot merely rely on votes from their party�s base; they also need swing voters to get elected and stay in office. In the same way, cigarette companies can�t count on just the support of heavy smokers; they also need a strong turnout from casual and �social� smokers to stay in business. Additionally, when a society has a large number of people who smoke only socially or when they�re �out drinking with friends,� that group helps perpetuate a general acceptance of the existence of their habit within that society. Or so it would seem to me; I�m not a sociologist. Still, I was in that group of occasional smokers, and--either through willpower or sheer luck--I luckily remained in that group for 6 or 7 years, without moving on to become a heavy smoker.
Most of my time spent smoking was when I was in college and while traveling, and those are two times when you almost
have to smoke; smoking just seems to be part and parcel of those particular experiences. My surroundings probably weren�t conducive to quitting, either, since many of my friends fell into the category of �occasional smokers.� This seemed to be especially true of the people I interacted with in Germany, as well as my fellow students in the German Department at CU. I guess there�s just something inherently Teutonic about inhaling hot smoke into your lungs; maybe it helps you express all that
Weltschmerz and
Schadenfreude. And speaking of Germans, I should also note that while I was an exchange student in their country, on various occasions I was even offered after-dinner cigarettes by my host parents�and they were both doctors! I believe they justified their occasional habit by waiting until the kids had gone to bed and by smoking only �Ultra Light� cigarettes.
So why would someone even smoke in the first place? Good question, and I�ll give you three great answers:
1) It�s cool
2) It�s delicious
and, of course�
3) It�s addictive.
Unfortunately, any anti-smoking campaign will try to gloss over those first two points and focus all its firepower the third one. Sure, smoking is stupid, and sure, it�ll almost certainly kill you eventually, but it�s still something to do when you�re bored and trying to look hip and/or edgy.
I guess I�m not sure why I�m even mentioning all this, except to say that I�m probably glad I quit. You know, I�m sending a Positive Message to the Youth of Today. We�re all about public service over here at Sitzblog. I should also mention that I�m glad I�ve ended up in a country where most people don�t seem to smoke, and that I�m married to a wonderful wife who would probably browbeat the shit out of me if I were to pick up the habit again.
But still, when I leave work and walk past the little cluster of smokers outside, I walk just a little bit slower.
Ummm, don�t do drugs, kids!
(Photo Credits: Since I was only an occasional smoker, and since it was also the Dawn of the Age of Digital Cameras, I had trouble finding pictures of me smoking. These two were the only ones I could come up with after scouring my hard drive. The first one is of me smoking after a soccer game. I founded The �nn�c�ss�r� �ml��ts, our German Department soccer team. One of our principles--besides an all-abiding dislike of soccer and an aversion to scoring goals--was that a nice cigarette at halftime was OK and even to be encouraged. It helped the oranges and Capri Suns go down.
The second picture is from circa 2004, I believe. It's of me and my buddy Chris in Manayunk, outside Philadelphia. I believe his friend took the picture.)
PS- Sorry mom.
.JPG)
